you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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