wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
