I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
