i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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