i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
