hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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