No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
