fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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