Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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