God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
