I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize