But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You just made me feel so damn special
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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