I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
