I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
