I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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