I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
