I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
