When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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