she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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