capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize