Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
