Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
