Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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