Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
