Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
