Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
