i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
