You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
