I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
