Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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