im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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