Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
