dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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