Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this beer tastes like vomit already
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
