yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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