well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
