brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize