we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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