He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
