Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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