So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
