Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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