New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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