Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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