I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize