is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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