Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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