Porn is love you can see.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
