Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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