They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
