OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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