Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
