is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
