I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
