on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
