i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
