Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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