I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
